Ways To Procrastinate When You’ve Run Out of Food

The Internet.

I’m generally crap with all technology. I’m a two-finger typer because I always cheated on Type Quick so that the crocodile wouldn’t eat my koala, and I don’t know anything about coding or htmls or ‘SEO’ (what is that??) However, for some time now I’ve just had this feeling that there is this great Internet world out there that I’m missing out on. I tried to get involved. I typed ‘funny video’ into Youtube. I Googled ‘best memes’. But to no avail. The internet gave me fuck all.

But then I started this blogging thing and it’s like the poached egg has been pierced. Awesome sites and online magazines are spilling onto my plate with unparalleled speed as I attempt to mop them up with my mouse. Here are a few fave blogs, sites, internet caves for you to trawl:

Junkee: http://junkee.com/

It’s funny. It’s pop culture: music, art, film, social stuff, politics, media. And it’s good writing, which is always nice. Cameron Tyeson’s piece on songs that might be used during the election campaign was as insightful as it was hilarious and it made me a bit more inclined to give a rat’s ass about Australian politics. Check it out here: http://junkee.com/seven-songs-that-might-be-used-during-the-election-campaign/14028

Slutever: http://slutever.com/

This chick Karley has had a cray-cray life and continues to do so. Here she writes about her self-celebratory slutty escapades and muses about stuff like double anal (apparently it’s when two guys stick their penis in your bum at the same time WAYHOE) .She calls herself a ‘pro-sex feminist’. Some people are like ‘bahh! think of the children!’ and I’m like ‘I think her articles are really intelligent and thoughtful and pretty dang funny’. Like, she just interviewed a porn star and the whole thing could have been an Austen novel (apart from the fact that they were talking about extreme sex acts) because surprise, surprise – porn stars are people with brains too. Awesome work, Karley.

Vice: http://www.vice.com/en_au

You’re probably already onto it but whatever. Vice is renowned for being edgy, smart, avant etc. And it is all these things, although I kind of feel like they would be the adjectives that a forty plus demographic newspaper would use to describe it, so sorry for sounding so middle-aged. But it’s really good. Covers music, fashion, cultyah, news, travel and so on. Is not afraid to be a bit controversial. Hires solid young writers and puts a lot of thought into everything it publishes.

Yeahnah: http://yeahnah.tv/

Yes, I also write for it, so this is shameless cross-promotion. But it’s a great website. Completely Australian, completely young, completely unpretentious. The layout is purposefully crass in its simplicity and the articles are purposefully not. It’s got the tone just right: a good mix of lengthier, meatier pieces and snappy bits. Their Amanda Bynes video is a killer as well.

A Square Girl, in A Round World: http://www.squaregirlinroundworld.com/

This is my m8 Sam’s blog. (When I say m8, I’ve never actually met her in person. But we’ve had great Internet chats and our mutual friend Cerealmonk vows to me that she really does exist. Anyway, her stuff is phat. She just writes about her life and she has a really fresh take on being twenty-four and not having a clue about what to do with your life. And she Internet dates for our reading pleasure. And talks about cellulite. Good.

Check em out, people. Soon I’ll be hitting you with the next instalment of how to procrastinate when you’ve run out of food. The theme will be ‘Making Shit’. Get excited.

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