Why Don’t You… Go To Bermagui?

As I check my Facebook newsfeed (to see if Roger Federer has commented on one of my many comments on his official fan page), I am inundated not with Rogerisms, but with pictures of all my friends having a blast in Europe. Or skiing. Apparently that is what Sydney University students do when they reach the July holidays. Europe is like a siren call that wills them to return to it without the vexatious hindrance of Mum and Dad on their yearly Family Trip. And if they haven’t got their shit together enough to organise Europe, students hastily get in a car and go to a lodge at Thredbo or Perisher to ski and post updates about being ‘snow bunnies 4 lyf!’

My question is this: why go to Europe or to the snow when you could go to… Bermagui?!

Only a five and a half hour drive from Sydney CBD, this little coastal town boasts all the modern accoutrements of city living without the hustle and bustle and stress! And on the way you get to learn things about life in the south coast and rural NSW! And you don’t ever have to take off your ugg boots!

ugg boots = synonymous w South Coast cool
ugg boots = synonymous w South Coast cool

‘Where do country people buy their groceries?’ you ask.

At Woolworths, Coles, IGA and Spar! They are not so dissimilar from us, except that their supermarket branches stock less brands of organic muesli and Yalla chocolate mousse. But it’s okay, fellow Sydneysiders! Just stock up on your Carmen’s untoasted variety before you leave, and bring it with you. There is no quarantine check when entering the South Coast!

‘Will the road trip be fun? What should I expect to be entertained by on the way there?’ you sagely question.

The road trip to Bermagui is half the excitement! Firstly, you get to see parts of Sydney you’ve never seen before, like Gymea and Engadine and Waterfall (that place that the train goes to but you’re sure it only exists in the realm of train announcements, not in real life). You also get to see lots of local businesses with funny names, like Silly Willy’s discount store in Moruya.

"Silly Willy's is a great name  for a shop" Said everyone ever.
“Silly Willy’s is a great name for a shop”
Said everyone ever.

And lots of interesting food emporiums that can only be found on the south coast due to their use of local produce.

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I also highly recommend the Berry Sourdough Bakery for some cheeky tarts and Miton’s vegetarian café Pilgrims, where the burgers are so good you are almost fooled into thinking the patties are made from meat! Try them for delicious nutrition and bite size pieces of political correctness.

“What do I do when I get to Bermagui? Is there a high street that I can peruse?”

Another insightful inquiry! Yes, Bermagui does have a ‘high street’ chockablock with top notch ateliers (the surf shop), grain designers (Bazza’s Hot Bread), coffee bean enthusiasts (Corkie’s Coffee Lounge) and publication purveyors (Bermagui Newsagency). As you can tell, it is a very metropolitan town. And if you are missing your Delicious Magazine fix, the Gelati Clinic has two copies from 2009. (The Gelati Clinic is named as such because the shop used to be a Veterinary Clinic and the owners couldn’t be fucked to buy a new sign for ages, so they just wrote ‘Gelati’ on top of ‘Veterinary’). But seriously though, the gelato is amazing. Try the fior de latte and the banana, and if you bring in your own fruit they can make gelato with it especially for you.

#lazysignage
#lazysignage

Other awesome places of note?

The Blue Pool.

Named as such because it is in fact, a blue pool. Because the ocean is blue, and it is a pool. It is so beautiful, and only a few people have drowned there in the past few months.

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Barragga Bay.

A gorgeous little beach accessible only by walking down a bush path at the end of Burrawong Place. Avoid the plebs and lie on the sand all by yourself, reading Beckett and thinking significantly about your own insignificance.

And finally, who needs Europe when you have the Bermagui Country Club?

The apex of Bermagui social life, this exclusive club (membership for twenty dollars a year) houses three tennis courts, a croquet court, a drinking lounge and a weekly trivia night! Try and beat the regulars by sneakily Googling answers on your iPhone, and run away before they have the chance to beat you up!

Best Country Club in the country. #alwayspacked
Best Country Club in the country. #alwayspacked

*Disclaimer
I actually love Bermagui. It’s my favourite place in Australia.  #grainofsalt