As exams roll past, and everyone is stressed, and I see people running comically to the bathroom at five to nine, we must remember to live, to breathe. This too shall pass! University is a soufflé that continues to rise and fall! The substance is always good even if it appears to have set wrong every now and again. Be a cook!
Sorry, I’ve been Googling haikus this morning and my brain has become a fortune cookie dispenser. Here are a few poems about some subjects I have studied at Uni. Feel free to write your own! The best entry gets a prize (the prize being a vaguely educational procrastination technique).
Ginger beer gone wrong
Causes much desolation
Kirby dissents, no!
They said it would be easy
They said I’d learn about States
They said I’d get the Civil war
That I wouldn’t need to memorise dates
But the History department were liars
They courted no romance
They’d prefer to hand out credits
Than let the bell curve advance
They asked me what I thought of historicism
I said, “Yeah, it’s alright”
I didn’t know what historicism was
And I don’t think I was right
The marks came out
I was fucked
Michael Rees beat me by far
But that’s the way that Michael plays
A silent killer
An HD student, a star.
Foundations of Law
Textbooks laden on my bed
Textbooks crammed inside my head
Turns out I didn’t need to know
There was no exam.
Just a hand-in.
The lecturer said, “I know about drugs!”
Some laughed awkwardly
Counterculture was beat
And beat was counterculture
The lecturer was shit.
I Kant do this anymore
I can’t justify free will
My brain is Fuller but nothing makes sense
Socrates get up off my grill
Questions upon questions
I start to Hum(e) a tune
I read Locke but find no keys
I try to Plato my strengths
But to no avail
Heart says one thing; logic disagrees
History of God
Stick figures on rocks
Must be sacrificial rite
No mention of Him